Originally published on April 27, 2020
CONFLICTED
Each day during the past month has seen me conflicted. I receive conflicting facts about an unseen virus. I receive misleading and conflicting answers when I ask questions. This leaves me emotionally, intellectually and spiritually further conflicted. Each day brings new numbers, different death tolls and cases. I am conflicted about whether the proper response by our officials is accurate. In other words, would we be better off if we exercised herd immunity or social distancing. None of us had ever heard those terms used until about a month ago. Each day our officials tell us about expert predictions and models, but we do not see any of the models or predictions coming true. As a result, I begin to question whether any of this conflicting information can possibly be true. My emotional and spiritual response to all of this flip flops daily. I want to be a good citizen and approach this in a Christian manner, in other words, help others, offer encouragement etc. But alas, my old self arises in anger when I think that the measures enacted are illogical, conflicting and for me unconstitutional. If we do not conform we are threatened with fines and even jail. None of it makes any sense to me.
Then my long-suffering wife reminds me just how blessed we are, and we thank God that we have each other and that God has truly blessed us beyond measure. We talk about folks who are sick, loved ones who cannot even visit those in the hospital, how some are sheltered in place alone, how many people have lost jobs and retirement savings, and we pray for them.
We are all humans and fail God and ourselves. I turn to Proverbs 3:5-6,
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
I have been leaning on my own understanding when I should have been trusting in the Lord.
Finally, I turn to my favorite verses (not before railing at the latest update and "so-called experts" on TV).
Romans 8: 38-39, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Nothing we have been dealing with can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus. Let us rest in His understanding and trust in the Lord.
Dan Hughes
